The Kindness of Friends and Strangers

When I walked off the airplane into the Singapore airport, everything felt calm and orderly.  I had just left the chaos of Jakarta, where I had a terrible taxi driver, lost an earring, and had pulled something lifting my bag wrong.  Wait was that…?  Yes it was.  Christmas music was playing.  I had almost forgotten it was the holiday season.  I smiled as I walked towards customs.  This was going to be a lovely stop.

The immigration area had several small wooden tables with entry cards.  I dutifully pulled one and started filling out my information.  I’d memorized my passport number by this point.  I filled out my name, citizenship, flight number, and then it asked for an address.  Ah shoot.  I had been invited to stay at the home of a friend and former colleague.  She had given me directions to get to her house, but I didn’t have an exact address.  I finished up best I could and waited to present myself to the immigration officer.

I walked up to the counter and smiled.  “Hello!”  She smiled back politely, but not warmly.  They are not there to be your friends.  She scrutinized my form.

“Where are you staying?”

“Oh, with a friend.”

“You have to have an address.”

Apparently, writing “Luanne’s House” with a contact of “Facebook Messenger” wasn’t going to cut it.  Sigh.  I went back to the small tables to try again.

I decided not to try my luck with the same gal, so headed to a different immigration line.  She glanced at my form, glanced at me, grimaced, stamped my passport, and waved me through.  Phew!  For some reason, it’s always a relief whenever I successfully make it into a country.  I was feeling very happy about it.  I started towards the duty-free store to pick up a few things for Luanne.

There were some specific things I had made notes to purchase.  I unzipped my purse to pull out my phone with the notes.  I started digging.  My phone… I started checking the amazing nooks and crannies that can form in a seemingly small purse…  my phone!  Where was my phone?  I started pulling out bags and containers.  Nothing.  Panic began to well up.  My phone wasn’t just a communications device, it was everything, especially as a solo traveler.  It was my booking tool, my confirmations, my safety, my maps, my camera, my connection with friends and family, with country contacts, with emergency help.  I started looking around, trying to stay calm but honestly not quite succeeding.  Maybe I left it back at the forms table?  I had already cleared immigration.  Singapore likes people to follow the rules, but I had to go back.

“Excuse me,” my voice raised a bit with stress as I tried to smile at the immigration officer, “I think I left my phone back there?  Can I go back?  Please?”

She looked at me.  She thought about it.  I could tell this wasn’t something she was supposed to do, but Singaporeans are as digitally dependent as anyone and I hoped maybe we would bond over it.  She sighed.  “Give me your passport; go on back.”  Victory!

I dashed back to the table where I had filled out the second form.  Nothing.  I moved some papers that were already flat, in a vain attempt to make sure I had checked everywhere.  No phone.  I started digging through my purse again, furiously.  It had to be somewhere.  It had to be.

I could see a woman approaching me out of the corner of my eye.  I looked up.  She was smiling, holding out my phone with the distinctively colorful case facing me.  “My phone!  Oh my word, thank you, thank you, thank you!”  Relief flooded me as she handed it back.  She smiled.  “I was waiting for you!”

I was so struck by her kindness.  She was also a passenger, and I’m sure had somewhere to be.  But instead of just leaving my phone to possibly be stolen, or turning it in to a lost and found, she took a few minutes to see if the owner would come back so she could safely return it.  I wanted to hug her, but I settled for more profuse words of gratitude.  I was grateful beyond words.

I hurried back through immigration, retrieved my passport, and picked up the items at the duty-free store.  I made my way to Luanne’s house trying to take in as much of the country as I could.

When I arrived, my host was as wonderful as could be.  Luanne must have spent the entire day preparing a feast of Western foods for me, in case I was missing home.  I was absolutely floored by her generosity – and her cooking!  It was delicious.

 

I met Luanne very early in my career with the U.S. Commercial Service, maybe 12-13 years ago.  She is one of those happy, friendly, and highly skilled colleagues that makes work an absolute joy.  When I posted about my trip, she immediately offered her home if I needed a place to stay.  I’m so glad I took her up on it!  I ate well, enjoyed some time of relaxing, and loved meeting her family.

I had a few days to explore the city.  My favorite stop was the Botanical Gardens, which is also a UNESCO World Heritage site.  The diversity of plants, flowers, and wildlife were gorgeous.  There’s an entire section dedicated to orchids.  I spent hours just wandering through the different sections and enjoying some time in nature.

Later, I met up with Luanne and we walked through the water front area so I could take a picture with the famous Merlion, the unofficial mascot of Singapore.  She took me to some of the old and beautifully preserved parts of the city, and stopped for some famous hakka street food.  Later that night, we drove through town to see the Christmas lights strung across the street and decorating buildings, lamps, and signs.

Singapore is a city-state island just off the tip of the Malaysian peninsula.  English is one of the official languages, and most people are fluent.  It is clean, safe, and easy to maneuver.  Singapore was a British colony and then was a part of Malaysia.  They became independent in 1963, when Malaysia decided they didn’t want Singapore anymore.  I wonder if they regret losing that tax base.

Singapore is an incredible success story, moving from a developing to a developed economy in just one generation.  Despite having no natural resources save a deep harbor, Singapore has managed to become the 2nd largest economy in the region and a logistics hub for trade, with the busiest transshipment port in the world.

The Singaporean people worked hard to produce this economic miracle and the country has one of the highest standards of living by per capita income and GDP.  It’s also a beautiful place, safe, and easy to navigate.

One nice thing about travel is the opportunity to connect with people you might otherwise never have had the chance.  While I was there, I reached out to an old friend from college who had moved there with her husband just after graduating and now pastor a vibrant and active church. We had a lovely time chatting and catching up on the last 17 years in very different worlds.  We talked about the challenges of living and raising a family in a very different culture, through the good times and the difficult ones.  Her family had gone through a crisis recently when her father-in-law suddenly passed away.  “But,” she said, “it was ok.  The church was really there for us.  I felt surrounded by love.”

That phrase stuck with me.  A church, any community really, is nothing more than the people.  When individual people decide to engage, to support, to show up, the community they are a part of gets credit.  When you are deciding whether or not to go to someone’s house, to bring food, to send a card, to make a call, it’s an individual decision.  But you also represent your community, church, school, work, dance, bowling, whether you know it or like it or not.  We’ve all been on both sides at some point.  So when in doubt, show up.  Help out.  Reach out.  Make the call.  Bring the food.  Offer to help with laundry or shopping or childcare in times of crisis.  You never get a second chance to be there in someone’s greatest need.  It matters, and makes a difference.

My few days in Singapore seemed far too short, but Malaysia awaited!  I decided to take the night bus, because it was cheap and convenient.  Luanne’s husband helped me research all the reviews on the different bus companies (something I have since learned to appreciate more deeply!  Future stories!) and they dropped me off at the station around midnight, grateful for a wonderful visit and ready for my next destination.